Friday, April 4, 2008

From This Day Forward...

“From this day forward… ‘til death do us part”
She could never have imagined what her words ordained…
Did she know what was in store when she first tried to shake off the thought “You’re going to marry that boy” as she eye balled an awkward towheaded scrawny guy trying to impress her with lame humor? Could she have anticipated the consequences?

The hardships of serving as sole bread-winner during those early years of training…
Teaching smelly third-graders, creating a home on a shoe-string, preparing meals, late-night lesson plans, surviving the flu, long lonely hours while her husband buried himself in medical books…
Nine full months of vomiting, walking an icy sidewalk while in labor, excruciating birth pangs, sleepless nights, colic, dirty diapers, living on borrowed money…
Adapting to inner city life, tracing helicopter spot lights overhead, enduring burglaries, fending off a vicious canine with babe in arms, surviving a house fire…
The rigors of residency, lungs laden with southern California smog, widow to the every third night call schedule, another nine months of vomiting, sore breasts, dirty diapers…
Suffering a brush with death due to meningitis, forced to recover quickly to save her small children from the care provided by a professionally distracted husband…
Then learning to live in the shadow of her husband’s new career, swallowing hard as he is adored and praised while she must be satisfied with his leftovers, aware of his warts…
Learning to serve as solo manager of household and family (and another “surprise” nine months of nausea), providing microwave meals to her late-night husband…
Silently adjusting to the unique compromises of the “doctor’s wife”, constantly sharing him with other women who bare their souls and their bodies in his presence…
Dramatic changes in her husband’s career uproot her from her dream home on the lake, familiar surroundings and lifetime friends; a subsequent series of biennial moves stretch her ability to cope with change…
The children grow, she launches a real estate career to support their college education, the nest empties…
Her roles as wife, matriarch, confidant, counselor, spiritual mentor, gourmet cook, perpetual hostess, never end and expand to enfold a larger church family…
She survives hurricanes, shares in the heartache of her daughters’ miscarriages, suffers the loss of a loving pet…
Then at the cusp of a promising season of ease, the news that her husband has malignant melanoma that is already rampant throughout body and brain…
While her future security is threatened, she becomes fulltime nurse and constant companion, endures more sleepless nights, witnesses his wasting while she coaxes him to eat, massaging swollen legs, reading to him for encouragement and comfort, all without complaint…

Could she ever have foreseen what those vows would bring her way, “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health…”?
Yet her life of devotion and over-coming endurance flows not from a sense of obligation to a covenant – rather from a fathomless heart of self-giving love that this heart is still studying and aspiring to emulate. Her vows and her subsequent faithfulness flow from a capacity to love that astounds and confounds me, and inspires me to be more than I am.

My dearest Linda, this scrawny guy’s highest aim: to love you in kind
Dan

7 comments:

  1. Dan,
    Love is never ending. What a beautiful story. I am sure as you looked back on your life... it wasn't easy on any of you and yet I am sure it was the best. It just shows how strong love can be. Remember the tornado that came thru Detroit during Linda's Bridal shower? I still have the pictures. My continued prayers are with both of you and the family.
    hugs and love,
    Barb

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  2. Challenges. Wouldn't it be nice if we could become all the Lord wants us to be without experiencing challenges? I obviously am a slow learner or I wouldn't have needed so many challenges to force me to become a bit more of what He wants me to be!
    There is nothing like marriage and parenting to either make you or break you. To top it off, the choice is always ours to make or break--choose righteousness or choose selfishness. It is usually that simple. Thank you, Dan, for hanging around even when I chose wrongly. I am blessed to be yours.
    Linny

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  3. What a beautiful work of art your love story is. Thank you for sharing your expressions of love and memories for us to see, they bring us hope.
    We are still praying and I see the Master's arms continually wrapped around you both.

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  4. Dan,
    Thank you for sharing your love for Linda and her obvious love for you. It is plain to see that you are aware of your caregiver's role and you cherish and adore her. May God continue to bless you both. Praying for you and your family.
    Anita

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  5. Only having been told your life is on the line can slow us down enough to look back and truly see how blessed we have been, What an awesome love letter! I love your warrior spirit, your use of humor and hubris as a tactical weapon against dejection and worse, You are more than a Conqueror, through Christ Jesus, who strengthens you, Walk Good!

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  6. My Dear Friend:
    It seems I have only now heard of your spiritual journey thru the other end of the medical field.

    I hoipe you remember me, My wife Lynda broke her water in your office at hackly center. I was very happy, u instructed me to go ocver and register her and come back to birthing for your new and first baby. When IU got back up she was in the worst of things, the babys head dfid not seal and we lost her after about 20 mins. very devistation, but only God knows what that 20 mins meant, we went back to church and became ministers we vistied jails and prisons, we baptisted inmates, who knows what came of them, but it was all because our baby lived for 20 mins and she is the result of many baptised prisoners who may never of reached God. Of course at the time I was infuriated with God and cussed him out, only to be told 3 years later why our baby died, or lived, for 20 mins, in the time she did many wonders, and Im happy about her death today.

    We did have two more girls lindsay jo and summer dwyer, both of which our the most beatiful girls GOD could rent me for the 20 min child he gave us, he out did himself..Lindsay almost didnt make it either but for you stayin up all night and placving a catherter in her lungs , you saved her and now she is 23 and married, summer has given me a grand child (girl) I have exp. many ups and downs in life being an alcoholic, but I think ive mad it. I am 65 and have a few medical problems my self, bladder cancer, and lung COPD as well as much arthirists in my spine, I take it all in stride , You helped make my life, for saving my lindsay and bring summer intoi the world..they made my life whole and complete and of course GOD played somewhat of a roll in this(lollllll).

    I hope you can think back an remember us, I do have a pic of the girls if and when I hear back from you

    God speed anbd may the Spirit of Goid comfort you and give you fearlessa strength..

    in Gos love john j dwyer

    P.S. my email is jjmod16@yahoo.com

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  7. Its quite apparant I cant spell or use this computer very well, I dont like to take my time at anything, of which ,has been my life hurry ....sorry for the mispelled and lack of concern for my letter, ill try to be more concerned if I get this back, hoping ur still with us as tyhis has been going on for sometime and we didnt know until ow in augs.

    john dwyer

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