Faith in Free Fall

While on this journey that, by all expectations, should have landed me in hospice care by now, I have wrestled with the quality and nature of faith. For me it has been exhilarating and rejuvenating to discover once more the simplicity and power of child-like faith, the kind of faith that transformed my life in the first place.

As I have studied examples of faith in scripture, listened to many of you who have encouraged me to trust and persevere, and engaged my mind and spirit in the exercise of faith in the face of improbable odds, I have come to some conclusions I would like to share.

The first and foremost is that my faith needs to be directed toward a Person, not a phenomenon. In the famous “mountain-moving” passage, Jesus’ first instruction to His disciples is to “Have faith in God.” (Mark 11:22) My faith is to be directed not at moving the mountain, not at my healing, but at my Helper – the One who made me, loved me and sacrificed His own life to redeem me.

I have also noticed that there appears to be at least four sorts of faith:
· Filtered Faith – i.e., faith that must first pass through some grid that I create. If this can be said to be faith at all, it is the kind with strings attached. I will trust God only if He behaves in a certain way or meets certain expectations I have. Sometimes I am barely aware of creating a filter through which my faith must pass, as when I try to put God in a box, ensuring that He will not demand too much from me, make me uncomfortable, or disturb my sense of justice or rightness. The rich young ruler was interested in following Jesus until it meant giving up his riches. (Luke 18:18-23) I need to examine what filters I have interposed in the process of trusting God. I need to let God be God.

· Faltering Faith – i.e., that kind of faith that begins in earnest but is weakened by doubt, misgivings, or disbelief. The source of my doubt is usually circumstances that seem to contradict that for which I have trusted God, or it may originate from the tug of “reason”. The man whose son was exorcised and cured of seizures struggled in this way, saying “I do believe; help my unbelief.” (Mark 9:17-27) When my faith is thus weakened, I need to recognize the source of my doubts, refocus my confidence in the certainty of His words, and take courage in the manifest power of what He has already accomplished through His miraculous life, death, and resurrection.

· Forced Faith – i.e., the kind of faith that borders on presumption. Based on the premise that true faith must operate as if that for which I am trusting God has already (and actually) happened, I must never acknowledge any evidence to the contrary. This kind of faith assumes that God has accomplished that which He promised in the here and now and in a manner that I perceive most appropriate. Moses allowed himself this kind of faith when he struck the rock in the wilderness, with grave consequences to him personally. (Numbers 20:7-12) Rather I need to learn to rest in the quiet confidence that God will accomplish what He has promised in His time and in His way.

· Free-Falling Faith – this is the faith of a child falling confidently into the strong arms of her father. This is the kind of faith that, in spite of that which is uncertain, rests secure in the certainty of the loving intent of an all-powerful Heavenly Father. This is the quality of faith exemplified in Hebrews 11 in which many experienced great victory but others, “having gained approval through their faith, did not receive what was promised” (Hebrews 11:39) Ultimately, faith is not about getting something I need or desire, but rather about growing in a relationship with the One who knows my end from the beginning.

I’m still learning how to live this way and grateful for each day. I’m learning how marvelous His love is and how earnestly He desires to have an intimate relationship with each one of us.

Thanks for adding your faith to mine,
Dan

PS – We leave this weekend to return to Charlottesville for an all-day session of testing and scanning on Monday, April 21, to assess the current status of the melanoma. I am looking forward to delivering a good report on our return!